dinnerpolly

from not being able to spell the word till now, i guess i’ve come a long way. at least now i know it’s one ess and two effs. just back from eblock lounge where some amans, ians, jitverns, lynns, waynes and i played bridge while fisting captain crunch. the room did smell according to hearsay, of fishballs. but nevertheless, it was nice. except the part where i found out we had to ask a senior out for the coming formal dinner of sorts. watch out, larger losers’ table required thanks. couldn’t we all just hang at some coffee joint watching the office season two (which i’ve just loaned out) and eating waffle crisp ? sipping tehping. that’s how i’d envision forming…bonds. ohwell. hall life has been fun to say the least, so far. can’t help but juxtapose it with life outside hall. all shopping and clean feet. my first weekend back home after being away for a week, wow, was spent wandering around the condo wondering what to do. ended up sunbathing with sister’s ultimate chicklit (one shopaholic book) complete with terrycloth robe and cocktail (faux, of course). sans the sunglasses simply because i am not cool enough to own one, in real life. so i was squinting which is bad for the eyeballs i know well i couldnt care less obviously. then i lay there frying myself till the sun was going down. quite therepeutic. except i wished i coulda done it in the nude. time to hit the bondi friends of barney!

and then there’s the mos bash on twelveth, where the results of best freshmen’s going to be announced. wasn’t planning on going, but seeing how things are going right now, i’m afraid plans are but shit(s). haaaaaa, crazy im going crazy. it’s four fifteen ay am right now and IM SO SAD because gillian went home yesterday morning. she called me using the free public phone right before boarding her plane!!! shit i feel so bad. i was sleeping when she called me. and we didn’t go out as planned one last time before she left. HEAVENS. i miss her already! gilly if you’re reading this, till next time…whenever next time is, i won’t forget you don’t worry. we’re blood, BLOOD you hear me!

all you need is a happy.

till deathdo us part.; 1:05 PM

Thursday, May 11, 2006

i think my sister’s dog likes my music. i used to find it strange how he follows me around the house all the time. then just now i saw him sprawled beside my chair and i actually THINK he was….chillin’. (snazzlem’dazzle) he’s recently been a-shaven and a-clippened so no more clickety-clackety and dirty looking rags covering his eyes.

i feel so icked. i need a holiday, a getaway, a something somewhere…else. looks like gillian won’t be comin’ with me. and oh i just don’t feel like going alone anymore. with no where to go, no one to go with, everything’s a shame really.

and the truth is, i miss her. but today’s horoscope is so uncanny it’s not even funny, anymore.

reading: roald dahl’s completely unexpected tales. how apt.

till deathdo us part.; 11:00 PM

today i was the unfortunate victim of a snapshot “customer” and as usual my nerves tried their very best to get the better of me. oh they showed alright. milk fountains when i tried to open a carton, too much syrup, too little foam, drippy drizzles, heart a-poundin’. but on the whole i guess it didn’t show too much, somehow i managed to pull through with minimal damage. come to think of it, he was quite cute (: well that’s besides the point, really. the point is, today was a rather good day.

other than resigning to the fact that friday will not be zoo day/ bjs day after all, after all. and after all, it may all boil down to nothing very much at all. it’s the stupidest, saddest thing really. why do they always go this way.

cmc’s on saturday and i don’t feel prepared. other than being drilled into the under 2 minutes category by dear miss 1986, i’m betting on tomorrow to get things down pat. was supposed to study in the store while waiting for them to finish closing so we could all sup together but halfway through i got so sick& tired and drowsy i decided to go home. i think i shall read and sleep tonight. and listen to buble.

you know what i need now? i need. milk and cookies at the poolside under a blanket of stars with somebody to talk with about nothing in particular. i need pyjamas. i need some magic to vanquish this bout of bad luck that’s struck me. i need a black crayon and a huge roll of white paper. i need some love, please.

till deathdo us part.; 8:38 AM

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

remember the deodorant (is that how it’s spelt?) everyone was using in secondary school called “impulse”? what a weird name. which part of not wanting to smell bad is impulsive. maybe they were thinking like the act of pressing the nozzle is an impulsive one. well. not very exciting no.

today, i went on an impulsive train ride after a very funny french lesson with the new teacher, Christophe. who, compared to the more laidback David from the south of france with the exhibitioned underpants and pierced upper ear bone thingy, resembles mr bean with harry potter spectacles. he is funny, really. anyways, there was this girl melissa, whose hair colour i really adored. it was the perfect blend of soft browns and a little blonde and some dark browns and some greyish browns. and i found out she was thirty, which is extremely unbelievable, judging by her appearance. i think i might do something like that to my hair, except it might not suit me at all, and voila, i’d turn into a major case of ahlian fuzzball.

and then. oh yes so i stopped at bishan, and we ate and watched and ate and as you can tell i’m rather tired but it was all so…unexpected. somehow, i can’t help but feel like i’m currently a tool in someone’s reorganise-your-life DIY kit. well if that is the case, then alls well that ends like hell. and if it isnt and i’m just being my usual paranoid self, then i’m simply ruining the rebeginnings of a great friendship.

and i just got rejected by mcgill. twice. they really didn’t need to emphasise their point by sending 2 of the same letters, really.

i’ve been tickled by a bout of flu. i wish it’d just HIT me or go away somewhere else and stop coming around at bad times like now.

oh damnation. people should stop saying life sucks because it really does sometimes and i hate it when i hear myself saying no it doesn’t. no you see, blogging just makes it all seem gloomier.

and i forgot to buy daisies for everyone yesterday like i wrote i would. so peut etre. tomorrow.

till deathdo us part.; 4:09 AM

Sunday, April 30, 2006

to do: buy daisies for everyone at work tomorrow

three little birds sat on my window, and they told me i don’t need to worry. summer came like cinnamon, so sweet. little girls double-dutch on the concrete. maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright. the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. girl, put your records on. tell me your favourite song. you go ahead let your hair down. sapphire and faded jeans, i hope you get your dreams. just go ahead let your hair down. you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow. blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely. sippin’ tea in a bar by the roadside. don’t you let those other boys fool you. gotta love that afro hairdo. maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright. the more you stay the same, the more they seem to change. don’t you think it’s strange? ’twas more than i could take. pity for pity’s sake. (some nights kept me awake) i thought that i was stronger. when’re you gonna realise that you don’t even have to try any longer? do what you want to.

hello there. maybe you’d like to know that i had a wonderful weekend with my best friend. we rented a stack’of movies and pigged out in style, and i mean boxers and no-bras good-ol style. know what i’m sayin (: nanny mcphee and my best friend’s wedding and some chummy oreos. perfect. what’s better than feelin’ without a care in the world, not worrying about how you look slumped on the couch, the both of us faces saggin’ eyes droopin’ legs sprawled across the universe chowing like its nobody’s business. it’s the luckiest feeling in the world, i think. (by the way, i still haven’t dealt with the ant problem in my room) and today i had a sort of odd breakdown, not really breakdown but it still left me feeling like i need therapy. like a found myself laughing in the dark and actually i felt like i was crying but from another person’s point of view, i was laughing like someone just told a grand joke when in fact, i felt like a grand joke. maybe, i think i could be, because after months of not allowing myself to go anywhere near feeling any sort of attraction (i wont say the L words) to anyone, dear ol old friend of mine just happens to ask for my number from another friend of mine and suggested meeting up. i didn’t realise we could “temporarily forget” friendships like stockings getting lost in the back of an underwear drawer that resurfaces only when you’re moving out. so when it comes back round the corner it hits you in the face like a first love and his girlfriend on your wedding photo shoot day in the zoo. besides, i don’t even know what she’s like anymore. and i dont know what i feel about him. the word is…impossible. but then again, i had hoped she was he, that anonymous messager. there was a spark of possibility then, but i guess that was what the stars meant when they said “unexpected”.

love isn’t for the lazy. true that. hey even hitler couldn’t handle some’a that. gimme a break will you.

till deathdo us part.; 6:33 AM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

i had a nice moment today. that was when i snuffed and sipped on a big yummy cup of chamomile tea while putting on one of the french cds i borrowed from l’alliance the other day. which reminds me, french classes begin again on the 2nd of may. which means, of course, until then i get 2 extra wake-up-and-have-time-for-big-scrumptious-breakfast mornings a week (:

went to watch take the lead with fella yesterday. the movie-absolutely sexy. antonio b. was simply t’die for with those polkadotted ties of his. and that asian guy with the mole reminded me of vanessa’s “fugly” “boyfriend” but i didn’t actually find him fugly in this case, quite the contrary in fact. “he’s so fly” he makes suspenders look like licorice. and i most definitely would like a soundtrack.

oh lots and lots and lots. the problem is, i think, i need some sort of a sieve for my thoughts. nevertheless, i shall try. (i find the combination of plenty of sleep, isolation, chamomile tea and incomprehensibly enchanting french music works quite well.) well plans for newyorking with gillian has been growing increasingly stagnant due to reasons such as time difference between singapore and canada and her being busy with studying for finals and my being busy working and what not. i dread the moment this fine thread of hope that we might actually be able to pull this off vanishes. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. (the vanishing i mean. the trip will definitely happen.)

i need tweed. just something, anything tweed. a bag wouldn’t hurt. or just a piece of it to sleep beside. hahaha.

okay that was nonsense. now for something serious. or seriously romantic, at least. i hate it when boys act a certain way and you just can’t tell if they’re being flirtatious or acting under the influence of genuine interest masked by deceptive test-the-water tactics. you just never know. especially if you’ve only met the person twice. and then there’s the one you KNOW is genuinely, rather painfully, interested but you know is just not you. i was never good at lovely situations because you know what they say, love isn’t for the lazy. and i am, well, lazy. but i’m not really! i guess you just forget after so long, call it being out of touch with cupid or whatever you may. that, i am. forget being swept off your feet, boys here are so swooshed they use the mop. (but can i just say i could be in love?! and everything that goes with that.)

i figure, i am both a cynic and an idealist when it comes to love. it just takes someone special to bring out the latter side in me. extra, special.

well. here’s an update on the names list.
for the boys:
noah, seth, graham and elliot.
for the girls:
naiima, samaire, chloe, polly, nadya, eva-mae and sri.
not, for future children like many like to think. but just special names…oh i don’t know. its not like i can claim credit for them and receive a fee for usage. but aren’t they MAGICAL. i like names. who needs surnames when you’ve got names!?

till deathdo us part.; 8:56 AM

Sunday, April 02, 2006

things i want to do:
buy Kiehl’s lipbalm etc.
stuff from lush
iheartNY shirts!
mad amounts of peanutbutterchocolategums etcetc.
watch a broadway musical
watch Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park
eat HUGE pancakes with luscious, fresh strawberries and omelettes and freshly-squeezed orange juice
visit starbucks!
cross the brooklyn bridge and visit Brooklyn’s IceCream Factory
ride the ferris wheel at Toys ‘R’ Us
visit Coney Island
take polaroids madly with strangers and strange objects
shop downtown around nolita, soho, noho and tribeca
browse the downtown flea and fresh markets
gawk at 5th avenue
eat hotdogs from a hotdog stand
visit the museum of sex
stroll in Central Park and visit the Central Park Zoo
eat a ’slice’
walk aimlessly around chinatown and little italy
eat at Bubby’s!
write letters to the people at home, with polaroids!
ferry-ride around manhattan to see the gorgeous skyline and, the statue of liberty
visit ground zero
sit at a cafe and people-watch

NUTS.

to choose: Gershwin Hotel which is in midtown, the flatiron district, near madison square park, really cool hotel, OR Cosmopolitan Hotel in TriBeCa real near SoHo, NoHo, Nolita and Chinatown a safe and convenient neighbourhood, not as cool as Gershwin but cosy and comfortable. OR chelsea lodge which is in chelsea, but quite far from subway, relative the the other two. hoooo hooooooo.

lists lists lists. fun to make, fun to break.

NEWYORK NEWYORK!

till deathdo us part.; 9:26 AM